Staying on Top of it All: Tips for Carers and Whānau
Staying on Top of It All: Tips for Carers and Whānau
As carers and whānau, we often wonder how to manage everything. Life changes when we care for someone, and it can be overwhelming. Here are some practical tips from other whānau to help you stay on track:
- Connect with Others: Reach out to support networks, share experiences, and learn from each other.
- Learn as You Go: It’s okay not to have all the answers. Take one step at a time and seek guidance when needed.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Caring for yourself is essential. Rest, recharge, and seek help when feeling overwhelmed.
- Embrace Change: Life won’t be the same, but adaptability helps us navigate the unknown.
Remember, you’re not alone. Together, we can face the challenges and support one another.
Taking Breaks and Staying Connected: Tips for Carers
Caring for someone can be demanding, whether you’re new to the role or juggling a busy schedule. Remember to prioritize your well-being:
- Take Short Breaks: Even a brief walk or solo coffee break can recharge you physically and mentally.
- Seek Support: Contact your local Needs Assessment and Service Coordination (NASC) service for resources or funding to help you take breaks.
- Family Cooperation: Share caregiving responsibilities within the family. Everyone deserves downtime.
- Set Boundaries: Communicate clearly with paid support staff about home boundaries.
Connecting with Family and Support
Taking care of your family involves connecting with trusted individuals. Here are some tips:
- Short Catchups: Spend time with a trusted person. Even a brief catchup can make a difference.
- Regular Meetings: Schedule regular catchups and explore shared interests.
- One-on-One Time: Each family member may benefit from one-on-one interactions with others who understand their experiences.
- Support Groups: Consider local support groups like Parent to Parent’s support groups and support for Siblings.
Encouragement and Support for Carers
Caring for someone can be challenging, but you’re not alone. Consider these steps:
- Connect with Others: Reach out to parents who understand your situation. Organizations like Parent to Parent, NZDSA, and Autism New Zealand have local support groups.
- Positive Encouragement: Talk to someone who listens without judgment—whether it’s family, friends, or a professional.
- Stay Positive: Connect with like-minded people, explore motivating websites, and focus on positive language.
- Community Connection: Stay involved in your community to avoid feeling disconnected.
If things feel stagnant, gather your key supports (friends, family, professionals) and discuss the next steps. Remember, planning is a positive step toward achieving your goals!
Other tips that can help include:
- Review Existing Plans: If you have an Individual Education Plan (IEP) or Transition Plan, schedule a meeting with the school to revisit it and get things moving again.
- Understanding Learning Patterns: Sometimes learning progress seems to stall. Ensure the person fully comprehends what they’ve learned before moving forward.
- Monitor Energy Levels: Recognize that energy levels fluctuate. Take breaks when needed—for yourself and your family/whānau.
- Focus on New Challenges: Consider where to direct your energy. Prioritize tasks that will make the most impact. Seek advice from someone impartial.
- Involve Your Family Member: Include your child/adult family member in discussions about their life. Non-verbal communication can reveal their preferences.
How do I communicate what I need effectively?
Effective communication is crucial when advocating for your family/whānau member. Here are some tips to help you communicate effectively with professionals and express your needs:
- Be Clear and Concise: Avoid using complex jargon or technical terms. Instead, use plain language that everyone can understand. Break down information into smaller, digestible parts.
- Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say “NO” without explaining why. You have the right to set boundaries for yourself and your family/whānau.
- Keep an Electronic Diary: Maintain a calendar with all your appointments. This helps you schedule appointments efficiently, especially if you have multiple professionals involved (e.g., hospital visits).
- Limit Home Visits: If possible, limit professional visits to your home. Decide what works best for you and your family.
- Focus on Abilities: Understand the diagnosis, but always focus on the person’s unique attributes. Avoid a one-size-fits-all approach.
- Challenge the System: Take time to understand the system and challenge it when necessary. Remember, policies can be changed if they’re not working.
- Use Powerful Language: Describe your needs using the same language the system uses. This can be impactful.
Help – I’m in crisis
Reach Out: Talk to someone you trust—whether it’s a friend, family member, church member, or other parents who understand your situation. There are caring people out there who can listen and support you.
- Helpline Support: If you don’t have someone from your personal network to talk to, consider calling the 24/7 Depression (and anxiety) Helpline at 0800 111 757 or texting 4202.
- You Matter: Understand that transitional times and grief can impact you unexpectedly. Sometimes a simple comment or milestone can feel overwhelming. Share your feelings with someone who truly understands.
- Laughter Helps: Find someone who “gets it” and can laugh with you—even during difficult moments. Laughter can be a powerful coping mechanism.
- Make a Difference: As a family/whānau member, you can contribute positively:
- Many trusts in New Zealand were started and are governed by families/whānau to support others.
- Share your insights and experiences to help others on their journey.
- Get involved and work toward positive change—for yourself, your family, and others.
- Remember that family/whānau voices have the power to create significant impact when united.
You’re not alone, and there are caring people who understand and want to support you.